Despite Personification, A 'Day' can Never be 'Independent' at WIERD...

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Thanks to all the cold WIERD supporters who came out to the Grand ReInauguration of the WIERD Liveseries to see Martial Canterel last week, and we're inordinately excited to say Sean will be back next week performing his first US show on a proper large stage as Martial Canterel opens for all you fave British-come-Dutch Cold Minimal greats Attrition as they play their first NYC show in 3 years at the Ukranian National Home on 2nd Ave. which has recently had a facelift to begin hosting live bands...and as a few of the Very Rarist of you this place has quite a bit of amazing history embedded deep inside IT as IT played host to New Order's first ever live gig merely months after the demise of JD, so please come on out to support the cold Waves of the WIERD world next Sat july 14th, more details can be found here:

This week WIERD welcomes Martin Lloyd from the Legendary Minimal Electronic band Oppenheimer Analysis(, and yes its one of your fave Very Rare holy daze so slide on in on the frozen hot ice and swashbuckle the night away with your 29 cent sparklers ablaze as the dripping wet analogue synths sputter and pulse like never before!!!

Well this ever so saddest of the sad 'American' Holy Daze really is the most perverse, and not for the obvious liberal-reactionary whiny reasons but rather simply because, despite the what the Very Rare literary device of 'Personification' says, a 'Day' simply can never possibly BE 'Independent'. Though as apparently we are forced to accept that IT is, what are we supposed to understand the rest of our frozen cold time on this lonely earth as? - 'Subservient Days'? 'Independent Nights'?... even more perverse perhaps is what this day actually 'means' - that the 'abstraction' known as (the nation of)'America' attained ITs autonomy from its dark synth British Mommie and Daddy, and maybe the WIERD is being too VR as usual but is IT not perhaps a bit ironic that in ITs vulgar need to fly ITs rectangular geometric abstraction once a year on high the implied desperation is exactly that of an immature suburban adolescent sceaming ' Fuck you Mommie I WONT clean my room, I'm going to WIERD!'...VR.

With this inherently ridiculous Centrist WIERDo idea in mind the WIERD was Bushwacking at Dunkin Donuts this morning, when said above group of lovely adolescents began the best arguement ever - quite appropriately following in today's 'Personificatory' ambitions as regards their fave fashion excessory...'Oh my God, yr shoes are SOOOOOO cute!'...'Thanks, yeah I love my Jellies but its SOOOO WIERD, because like, usually with shoes you know you have some sense of like you know 'Progress', like you get to know them cause they get all broken in and comfortable, but you know Jellies never change cause they're all plastic and whatnot...they're always the same!'...So Very Rare, shoes make progress, days are all becoming independent, guess anything can be anything in the abstract Coldwave world. Odd thing that WIERD realized while considering IT was the 'Jelly' IT was eating certainly was NOT making progress but was dying, getting smaller and smaller(and the bassline kicks in as the smoke machine starts up) perhaps if IT were a pedaphilic foot fetishist this would be different but as is, for the WIERD the Jellies not only make no progress, they actually spiral straight down into the void and dissapear to become Very Rare...

Turning to ITs left(spatio-temporally ONLY of course) WIERD learned as usual there were a bunch of DrunksIN Donuts, and as these boisterous drunks had arrived on bikes and were behind a bunch of typically sweaty obese cops in line, the obvious Very Rare fact that NYC has recently made IT such that citizens can be convicted of a DUI on a bicycle becomes quite 'topical' here(the Jellies being 'bottomical' IT supposes). This fact is most interesting of course because one cannot ACTUALLY 'drive' a bicycle at all but rather as correct English would say 'ride' IT. So it seems thus that when one is dark synth drunk all bicycles must become cars. IT USUALLy would thus follow in the A=B, therefore B=A, but no in this case when one is sober in a car IT does not become a bike, in fact about the only thing cars and bikes have in common is the 'brakes', which can be applied in any Very Rare fashion, slowly and drunkly at night or quick and allertly 'FAST' as before a lovely sober, latemorning post-coitus Breakfast....

In fact breakfast is quite important in todaze hysterical WIERDerance as IT has a similar dilemma to little Miss drunkin bike - why is it that when one eats 'dinner' food for brake-fast IT is still 'brakefast' but when IT eats breakfast food for 'dinner' IT is never 'brakefast'? The only obvious response it seems would follow is in this case eating such VR food at night must thereby be 'brake-slow', and conveniently enough the closest thing we have to evening brakefasts(and how VR would IT be if the next serial killer's rampage consisted of 'fasting' from using brakes and runnning all his victims over!) are every Williamsburg graphic designer's weekly spoogefest known as 'Brunch'...and the WIERD's pleasure is admittedly as great in this humanist weekly VR habit.

One of the WIERD's fave Brunch person's is a certain excellent literary figure from Milwaukee who, despite his enthusiasm for the Brew-hers, often spends much of his time 'discussing' his relationship with his wife and particularly the fact she never comes to let him Brew(with)her at brunch because she stutters when she is drunk...Keeping in mind that the WIERD disproved thee old agage that 'Jellies never make progress', IT was sure IT could do the same with M.Brew-hers wife...'So whats up man, hows yr wife, she still all freeked out to get Very Rare with us becasue of her stutter? I actually find IT quite endearing man:)'...'Oh dude I thought I told you, since she had the baby the stutter is gone!, ITs amazing, ITs like the baby WAS the stutter and now IT is gone!'...'Well, actually man that makes total sense, especially in the context of brakefast because supposing the child-to-be IS an 'obstacle', you have to brake fast as hitting a child simply is NOT acceptable, which is why so often when certain non VR parents are drunk they break slow and hit their kids. And just as you can never hit a kid, you can never have brake-fast at night, which is most likely why the NYPD has been so aggro with the DUI shit lately as everyone's drunk especially on the 4th, breaking slowly and beating their Coldwave loving, Jelly shoe eating WIERD kids, and just as the drunken day Personifies ITself to become independant and come to a close in darkness, so does their life as the foot goes down a bit too late, they hit a dark synth brick wall...and the Progress ends...brunch is over, time to die...welcome to the WIERD world darling:))).

Pieter, Glenn, Veronica and Martin Lloyd Spin Coldwave, Dark Analogue Electronics!!!
Wednesday, July 4th 10pm-4am
WIERD @ Home Sweet Home
131 Chrystie St. @ Delancey, NYC
J train to Bowery, F to Delancey