Homosexual Alligators Literalize Every 'I' Doctor's Phantasy at WIERD..

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Yes we're very sorry for all your sakes, but back by unpopular lack of demand, the frozen cold male-hysterical mysteries of thee WIERD are back from Planet Very Rare, and if you thought we were rare before, your sakes will most certainly have to be cold to wash down this terrifyingly bloody little Japanese piece of fish in a sad little eminently brittle seaweed roll, as this time we're more well-done than ever, but as always miraculously very rarer than never before...Thanks to everyone for comin HomeSweet Home last week, and yes we have a few little kinks to work out with the lights and sound but bear with us and pretty soon you'll have the little downtown coldwave disco inferno you always never knew you always wanted. This week WIERD welcomes NYC's longest running gothking DJ Patrick from Albion NYC, so for all of you who could never bother to very rare into the uptown Coldwave scene in the legendary back room at the Batcave, you got no excuses now...

So for the past 6 months of our dormancy the WIERD has been suffering from lack of anyone to tell about all its as always astounding findings in the Coldwave world, for awhile it was actually sending anonymous fascinatingly unconditional emails to itself expounding its Very Rare theories of interconnectivity in the as always abstract world, in which thee 'IT' reigns supreme as it often expounded in ITs previous life in the Southside years.

As if Psychiatrists' 'invention' of Schizophrenia was not enough to literally 'prove' that the 'self' can be 'abstracted' by its multiplication, the fact that it is known as a 'disease brings up many interesting questions for the WIERD, and this was made quite apparent when the WIERD visited the dark synth 'I' doctor the other day...'How are my eyes Doc?'...Well actually M.WIERD, it seems your vision has actually begun to correct itself'...'Wait, my vision has a 'self'? Amazing, what was wrong with ITself, did it have a disease like glaucoma?'...'No WIERD, remember you thought you had caught that a few years ago and thank God you came in because you may remember I caught it in time, so you did not get IT'...'Oh man, are you serious I gave you my Glaucoma, wow that sucks man, sorry, I was wondering where it went, who caught yours then?'...'No WIERD I never got IT, I'm sayin I caught YOURS.'...'But how can you catch something without 'getting' IT?'...'Because IT is a virus WIERD, you can never have IT'...'Well that's not true my Uncle has Glaucoma, but I agree with you IT IS a virus, and IT is infecting everything in the Coldwave world, abstraction is more rampant than ever before...So let me ask you something Doc, if I 'catch a disease', I then also need a Doctor to 'catch' IT, to make sure I don't GET IT - but what happens if YOU the Doctor ITself 'catches' your own disease, can you then 'catch IT IN youself' to make sure You don't get IT, because if you could 'catch your self', it seems to logically follow that your self must be split, and you should probably see a shrink to get some Haldol man?'...'No WIERD I have a Doctor as well who catches IT when I get IT, you always need another person'...'Wow I totally agree, the only way to resist abstraction is to go into someone else's body, and I'm glad you have someone to do that dirty little deed of pleasure with Doc':)...

So the WIERD left the Doctor's office, and quite satisfied that the excellent demonstrators trying to demand movies with smoking be rated 'R' thus literalizes the vulgar adolescent erotic equation of smoking and fellatio, it looked up at the the new gatorade new Gatorade billboard on its street - 'Is IT IN you?', and of course continuing this diatribe on thee IT was a bit tiring, God i just talked to the Doctor about the fucking very rarer than ever 'Gatorade question'... Its interesting though that Vision is perhaps the only 'self' that can 'correct itself'(i.e. catch IT IN ITself). Hearing is an interesting example though, for if your hearing is bad you correct it by getting hearing AIDS, and thus obviously then you have aids but not AIDS...the question this obviously raises is what if a doctor wearing a aids 'catches' AIDS IN someone else, in this case he would have done what my doctor avoided with the glaucoma question - he would HAVE aids, catch IT IN someone else and then would have IT himself, strangely enough, only in his ears...hmm, very rare, AIDS is what IT is because IT is everywhere, so I guess even this dark synth exception doesn't work, so the very rare WIERD question of the day is, WHO TRULY COULD CATCH 'IT', and then truly triumphantly be able to experience thee eminently vulgar capitalist satisfaction of replying to thee 'Gatoraids question' - 'Why yes, IT IS in me...thankyou very much dahling for asking...'

The WIERD started itching with frustration at this very rarer than ever mystery...then it remembered years ago coming upon a strange typically lefty-bland college newspaper years ago from the University of Florida(the exact University in fact where Gatorade was invented in the early 60's, very rare...) called 'The Alligator', particularly interesting because it had been sent to the WIERD by a gay ally of ours who loved the plethora of ironically-tinged jokes about 'Gator', the schools abject furry reptilian mascot...supposedly thee 'guy inside gaytor' was in fact gay, but the WIERD misunderstood and thought the article was suggesting the gator was not played by a human but was actually REAL, and this gaytor was in fact 'gay'(the WIERD of course suggested that was obvious as IT was already IN his name)...Then it struck the WIERD, what if the Gaytor practiced very rare fabulous excesses of illicit sex and actually 'caught AIDS'...hmm, feelings of thee very rare became colder than ever inside the WIERD...This was the answer to the WIERD question, and the calm set in... if a gator with AIDS drank 2 Gatoraids, it would TRULY HAVE CAUGHT 'IT', and would in fact be, the WIERD would like to argue, the only 'Being' in the world who could truly have the satisfaction of answering thee 'Gatorade question' as 'Ahhh, YES, how lovely it is to be ME - IT is IN me...:Gator AIDS' ...Very Rare...and Welcome back to thee frozen cold world of the WIERD...We truly missed you all.

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007 10pm - 4am
(Happy Hour and Very Rare Dutch Minimal Elektronik retrospective midnight-1am)
Pieter, Glenn, and Patrick spin Coldwave, Dark Synth
WIERD @ Home Sweet Home
131 Chrystie St.(1/2 block south of Delancey)
J train to Bowery, F train to Delancey