The WIERD Plasma Ballad of the Invisible Leopard Lionheart...

Tuesday May 30th, 2006

Okay very exciting, today's less-on(as opposed to 'mor-on', he who never figures out how to get 'in', very rare...complicated thing is thee true moreons are often the least self conscious, and therefore more 'in' the world than less-ons, who always remain 'outside' myspace....oooh)  has been inspired by all the icy cold ladies in the WIERD who perhaps understandably think we need to play a bit more Kate Bush in our little temple of the red and the gold.  I honestly love Kate Bush but my my sister's name is Kate and I think I developed an aversion to the British queen of hysterical wave because family members' Bush should I think remain off limits in the WIERD, but maybe we'll come to reconsider as its been incest week on Opra it seems so maybe now its finally appropriate for me to make the leap IN...though as Mr. Bartleby famously said 'I really prefer NOT to'...
   So that cheery fact in mind, I was thinking about the mysterious world of thee ON, specifically as Opra was showing everyone going INto each other ON TV, it seems so unfair we can't all be IN T.V., as at this point being ON T.V. generally implies some degree of complete humiliation, the place where I think we can all coldwave agree 'capital is located' for the past 5 or so years on televisual culture, and who on earth would want such a thing?... The thing is you actually could be IN TV, but I've been quite suspicious TV design has been sensing my desire to go INto the 'box', prefering to keep us outside the box - most literally vulgar metaphor ever -  as TVs are getting so flat and narrow, kind of like painting did 100 or so years ago, and unlike my giant 2001 Sony black box of a TV you can't get into the 'body' of a plasma flatscreen, simply too thin to squeeze into and hide-OUT, even if yr dark synth skinny...There must be a way to get INto TV...
   So conveniently the WIERD has recently developed a new form of anxiety that happens when I'm driving listening to music and my WIERDmobil comes to a stop precisely when a song ends, and the anxiety only sets in when I honestly am not aware its about to end.  The reason this feels WIERD is the timing suggests you were just IN a music video ON TV, or maybe better put, you're IN the video looking out through the windshield and now the fun's over, anxiety being triggered not by the bland 'liberal'  notion of  'nothing is real', but simply because you want to keep the video going forever, and its even more frightening when that beautifully terrifying thing happens(which is far beyond very rare) where the second you pull away from the stoplight the next song begins.  So a few days ago Im driving along to a lovely CD a friend gave me  which I first thought said 'Hate Bush', figured it had lots of political OI OI stuff on it whatever, but actually it said 'Kate Bush'(yeah move a few 'lines' around and you have a complete traversal of the political spectrum, fathinating...) and as Im driving down a steep hill in 'Bush'wick the song 'Runnin up that Hill' ends exactly as I come to a stop...The coldwaves of anxiety began slowly, from the clutch up through my legs, ughh, All I've wanted all week is to figure out how to be IN TV and now that I've finally done it(the windshield being the TV Im in and everyone else watching me as the ever glamorour Ms. Bush-wick) it feels horrible, how can I escape this sucks, the video must not stop, I want to be the Lady Kate forever....  I was a bit too close to the intersection however so I had to put my head out the window to see the red jah rasta stoplight, and I realized the red light was in exactly thee perfect position in relation to the windshield as the flashing red light on my cable box is to my TV screen, and suddenly I started to feel relief as the second this happened I was outside the screen and thank God ON TV, IN/ON/IN/ON, where the hell am I, then the light changed and perfectly in sync ON came the song 'Lye-on' Heart(George W.s themesong I figure)  and hONest to very rare God this gnarly old 75 Monte Carlo flies past me nearly killing me  with bumper sticker saying 'I Hate Bush'...Since I was still in panic mode I read it literally as ME - 'I, Kate Bush'...Finally after working so hard all week I had done it, finally I was IN TV, litlle me Ms. Bushwick and everyone was watching me, drivin down that hill garlands a flailin in the wind, alone in coldwave darkness...very rare, and...WIERD.

Pieter and Josh suggest its obvious why Bush is never IN TV
Tuesday, May 30th, 11pm - 4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and Necropolis of Love retrospective Midnight - 1am!!!)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd