Thee Dragonfruit Workout never 'turns-in' to be 'Out' at WIERD...

Tuesday March 28th, 2006

So my new very rare friend is this big fat happy Indian dude named 'Oznu' who works across the street at Sunoco. Oznu and I met because we share a passion for dragonfruit vitamin water, officially thee most coldwave drink of 'thee moment'. Our relationship is restrained to 2 weekly sentences where I walk in pay for my gas and dragonfruit and say "Hello Oznu, but you are not really 'As-new' for you are slightly old... Then he says, "Hello 'Missed-her-Pieter', more dragonfruit for you?", then I relpy, "No Asnew, I am not Mister Peter because I am not a woman so I do not miss my Peter, and he ends it by saying, "Ah Mr. Peter, but you are so very much funny... goodbye MissedherPeter...". We've now done 'It' 3 times, amazing. Anyway Oznu looked familiar and I realized after talking to him that he used to work at Nathan's on Coney Island and was one of the referees for last years hotdog eating championship because I have a very rare bootleg copy of it on dark synth video. And this brings me to thee topic of today's WIERD...

On behalf of WIERD I would officially like to announce that COMPETETIVE EATING IS THEE MOST 'CONTEMPORARY THING' IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW!!! So I spent much of this week learning about this and its amazing,and I had to break our restrained relationship and learn more. So I returned to Sunoco and after we got over thee sadness that I wasn't sipping the dragonfruit today I brought up Kobayashi, Japans most famous 'eater' and reigning Nathans champ for 5 yrs running, Oznu said 'Ah Kobayashi, he is so famous because he works OUT his INSIDES so very intensely, he has dee strongest stohmak in dee world MissedherPeter!- And this precisely is the key to the whole very rare 'thing'...

Initially I became interested in competetive eating because it seemed to be a 'made for tv' allegorization of the gang bang, and as such a pure abstraction with the 'gang-bang' taken out of the gang bang, as hotdogs replace thee very rare 'members' , and in a very rare moment in which abstraction provides relief from thee truly terrifying Gangbang image, coldwave devotees can love the Nathans Gangbang because the 'body of a woman' is replaced by a beautiful young Japanese boy which undercuts thee 'Bang' with a slightly confusing air of (metaphorical) androgyny... truly very rare...The 'thing' i find amazing about the Kobayashi phenomenon is in a time of the world radically overfetishizing thee 'outer body' or exterior, the competitive eater goes through radical training to 'work-out' his 'insides', as I learned he eats 15 pounds of iceberg lettuce (and 'let us iceberg' is very coldwave indeed) every Sunday as it strengthens the stomach muscles, drinks a quart of hot sauce every Thursday (for thee liver) etc. So in a quite opposite way to most (external) 'working-out', the 'most fit' competetive eaters get fatter and look worse, and noone knows that secretly they are the 'Most Fit' of all...

So the complicated thing here is that this abstraction of the notion of 'working-out' (which seems only appropriate we refer to as 'working-in') results interestingly enough from an 'inward turn', in this case 'Literally' as such. Generally in history all 'inward turns' are made in moments of what get call 'romanticism', sad isolated, sensitive coldwave-loving individuals who cant bear the abstract world flee from the outside and 'lock the door' to their body. And my sense from this weeks research is many competitive eaters are indeed quite sad, lonely individuals... The amazing WIERD thing here though is that their 'Contemporary' INWARD (or 'innards') turn, they find refuge IN abstraction itself, the abstraction of 'working-OUT', and just as the work of many romantic 'Outsiders' like Danger and co., locked IN their rooms, never 'get seen in their lifetime', the competitive eaters work ('internal' muscle/organ strengthening etc.) cannot be detected, and as they get even more monstrous to look at in their overconsumption, they are pushed further and further 'Outside' society... alone, coldwave, very rare... and truly WIERD... the most contemporary thing of all...

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Pieter and Martial Canteral spin Dark Synth for Thee new Abstracted PG-13 Gang Bang!!!
Tuesday, March 28th, 11pm-4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and Uniton records retrospective- Svart Klovn, Fra Lippo Lippi etc., midnight to 1am!!!)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd
info:(718)387-3182