DJ GILLES LeGUEN Returns to WIERD!!!...

Tuesday February 7th, 2006

Yes indeed the rumors are true, this week WIERD is proud to present the return DJ GILLES LeGUEN!!!
Please slide on into the freezing Cold Cavern of thee red and gold and bow down to the man without whom the phrase VERY RARE would never exist(and don't worry he's not gonna play any more white funk as he's apparently finally realized that even with all the Leiderhosen and armbands, its simply NOT appropriate for white people to claim to be 'Funky' :))) ) !!!

Well this past week's WIERD staff meeting brought a few very rare and as always crucially important facts to light...After hours of debate we first all agreed on firstly that we're all quite dissappointed that our fave liberal demographic of thee 'Cultural Theorists' is still yet to publish thee long awaited 'text' drawing attention to the fact that Jasper John's discursively brilliant work of the early 60's(i.e. when he famously wrote the word 'Red' in the color blue) obviously prefigured the radical semiologico-capitalist idea that infected the marketing strategy of the New York Yankees beginning in 1996(i.e. pink yankees hats, green yankees nighties etc.), secondly that Trop Tard's 'Ils Etaient 9 dans Obscurite' is hands down the darkest coldwave record ever, and third that we were all quite 'literally' excited by the sentence screamed out by the announcer of this past week's Millrose games at the Garden, 'Well folks, I guess you can all tell that Pony Tails are the new trend for the 'bad girls' of Pole-Vaulting!!!' (to make a long story short theres this new uber-sexy clique of female pole-vaulters who've grown huge pony tails to say fuck-you to thee 'Pole'(and yes the lesbo sexual innuendos are intendedly hot) as having a pony tail makes it way harder to 'clear the pole over'head' '!!!)...So after this multihoured debate famous Franco-Cuban artdealer Miguel Abreu walks in and after yet another exhausting lecture on the connection between Bellmer and Cezanne says to me, 'Dahling I think there's a fly in the house', perhaps you should get some 'Raid' or a bit of 'flytape' as its making me feel a bit 'dirty', oooh...'Well Mr. Abu, funny you should mention it because those two very rare 'fly removal devices' you mention are in fact none other than THEE CAUSE of the very rare 'fly' sound you're hearing, see my Raid-he-ate-her has a tiny leak and every one thinks it sounds like a cassette 'tape of a fly'...'Ah soup-herbe!, not only is it quite appropriate that a 'spray can' is masculine, but that it simultaneously disguises itself as a 'household warming device' which allegorizes cunnilingus'...'Well yes Mr. Abu, I've often thought this myself, yet my attempts to both stimulate my girlfriends by spraying their very rare vaginas with Raid AND to persuade them to take off their panties and pleasure themselves on thee hot Raidheateher have been quite sadly unsuccessful as usual, which leads me to believe that the 'her' inside the Raidheate'her' isn't a woman but the WIERD notion of 'Cold' personified as a 'woman'...'Yes dahling..Well, excellent, meeting adjourned!'......OK so 5 days later it had become very 'warm' outside and I was becoming quite sad my proposition couldnt be tested.  Yet suddenly this 'project' took a turn though...The WIERD has many times put forth the idea that Karaoke is the most 'contemporary' musical genre, and it works partly via inverting the unpleasantries associated with 'Deja-Vu' by making the original not only unimportant, but also ironically laughable in a lovely way.  After thinking about this for a long time Friday night I woke up to find it 70 degrees outside and (no shit) there were 5 flies buzzing around my head, so I went (unconsciously) to the very rare hardware store to get some fly tape and a can of Raid, at which point the checkout guy smiled and said 'global warming son, they'll die again soon as it gets cold'...then I realized via true Deja-Vu what had just happpened amazingly enough:  Up to this point my household warming device had been using Karaoke to play a very rare 'cover song'(amazing to as its right next to my bed covers), which as Mr Abu noticed was a brilliant rendition of the 'Fly Tape' under the band name 'Raid He Ate Her' ( and as has recently happened with thee return of Gang of Four's making all the Williamsburg 'cover bands' unnecessary) , when the ORIGINAL warming device(under thee long forgotten name of GOD) returned on Saturday making it Warm for 'Real', the flies BECAME real,  thee Karaoke household warming device no longer necessary, and THEE WIERD WALKED THEE EARTH FOREVER...COLDWAVE...very rare...

Pieter and GILLES LeGUEN spin Coldwave
Tuesday, February 7th, 11pm-4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and free drinks if you kill yrself when I play 'Les Choses qu'on N'Oublie Pas' by Trop Tard, midnight - 1am!!!)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd