Your Transexual Parents Passive-Agressively Allegorize Your 'Re'Conception at WIERD...

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005

Saddened by Ray's absence as he's off in Vancouver selling blackmarket kickballs to finance his trip to inspect the 'secret Brazilians' in Puerto Rico, Cindy and I awoke to a lifechanging experience!  Bleary Eyed we both broke into the lovely, uncomfortable, nervous laughter that IS the WIERD when we saw that the 'selling point'(ah i finally get to use it in a sentence, what a relief, sort of like 'anytime minutes', but with 'use value', and then of couse the obvious question arises as to which 'selling points' should be disregarded as 'whatever'...) of the new Ford Windstar is that it '...has more gigabytes of memory than either Chevrolet or Nissan(!)'.  So its now official, automobiles no longer exist, Bloomberg got his wy and got Ford to abolish cars in NYC!  you heard it here first synthies, dont forget it!  Exxxstatic we ran out of the house and amazingly encountered the rarest of the rare local figures, 'Whoa Cindy, is that who i think it is, shhh be quiet...'  Yes it was a 'man with van' sighting, this way aggro angry artkid with a superbly predictable liberal agenda(blacks cant eat women, Jews cant vote for fur, fur cant discriminate against dairy etc.), and he's cursing at the top of his lungs, 'hey dude, whats up, you OK?' 'Fukin no yo, this asshole's rippin down my fliers and puttin up his which say 'Man with BIG van', saddened by seeing MWV's unfortable emasculation, I tried to be the optimist, 'well, hey man, i bet you got more memory, right, size isnt all that matters'...'Nah bre, I smoke too much fatty and dont remember shit, this fukin sucks!'  'Hey have you heard about the 'Windstar?, it remembers more than anyone?'  'Yeah no shit dude but the Windstar's a 'Mini'van man, and size is my problem', 'oh right sorry man' , 'Hey  maybe you should get one of those little pumps, you can download it into the Windstar and then put it on yr laptop for free laptop dances in times of canadian kickball shortages..' 'Nah man, I like real bacon, and fuck that 'chickensausage' shit you told me to try too', 'Oh sorry, I thought it would be a PC alternative to Meat', 'Nah I got a MAC man, fuck PC'  'What yr not PC anymore, cool man, so why dont you get a Windstar then?'  'Cause Im Jewish man' and its Saturday, Cant download, just upload' 'Whoa I thought you were a 'top', 'Nah my dads orthodox', 'Oh I see, how WIERD...Very rare...coldwave windstars 4EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pieter and 3:1:G spin the Coldest Waves of the Wild Windstar!
Tuesday September 13th, 11pm - 4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(Happy hour and drink discounts if you know the true identity of 'Man with a BIG van', and free drinks if you know if he has 'anytime selling points'!!!)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd
info: (718)387-3182
41 Broadway (Wythe/ Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY