English Buddhism Suggests your Franco-Cuban Penis has a WIERD 'Female' name...

Tuesday December 13th, 2005

OK, so this WIERD is officially dedicated to all thee young dudes who've courageously chosen to problematize the slightly vulgar notion of 'naming one's penis' by giving his penis a 'woman's' name.  The inherent radicality of this idea came to me as I was walking down a certain very rare street the other night )while debating whether the new trend of Franco-Cuban art dealers turning Buddhist temples into 'exhibition' spaces on thee LES (the WIERD of course would suggest perhaps adding an additional 's' to this acronym..., very rare) could properly be considered 'gentrification'), and I was interupted by a 'discursive drive-by 'shooting' from none-other than the WIERD's favorite, and blatantly 'famous' effeminate NYC provacateur of thee aesthetic 'superego' Adrian, who reminded me, 'Pieter dahling, please dont forget thee radically WIERD implications of the 'La Beet'/'Le Vagin' dialectic PLEASE!!!!!!!'...a truly amazing drive-by as he always does on his vintage 1958 lady's Pew-Joe bicycle(which recent rumors have suggested to us is THEE EXACT SAME bicycle who posed for the Master of materialist Abstraction's recent excellent exhibition of Feline 'bi-cycle' paintings in Miami Beach last week, more on that next week...)  So very rare event made me so excited as all of a sudden I completely  understand that my lash tints and coldwave obsessions are obviously due to my mother's force feeding me canned beets for the first 2 years of my very rare life, and that this 'Beet-dom', which is of course 'cock'('La Bite' :) ) for the Frenchies(Franco-Cuban's excluded) amazingly has a feminine gender and its apposite 'Le Vagin' is properly masculine...The next obvious question to deal with for the WIERD is does this 'gender switch' in the French naming of thee genitals implicitly allegorize the (hetero)sexual act just by simply 'speaking' the according (genital) words...hmm, very rare...amazingly just at that moment Glenn called to excitedly tell me that thee new 'Motor - 'Ola' ' (very rare Spanish wave mobile 7" vers.) sell foam is called 'The Razor', amazing - Glenn asks for the 'best new sell-foam' and the guy at 'T-Mobile'(i.e. 'Get more out of life') gives him a 'razor'...Obviously the next step in thee WIERD connection-circuit was the literal castration suggested by this new cellular technology reminded me that the name of the website for the new 'Erectile Deficiency' drug which is Viagra's new competitor is called www.makethecall.com , and obviously explains the commonality(i.e. allegorical hetero intercourse) of both naming one's Penis a 'female name' and the French gender misalignment in genital naming!!!, amazing... and this all came from yet another properly English 'discursive-driveby' fro the wonderfully androgynously named Adrian himself...sometimes the world makes so much sense, and in such moments one can finally take a very rare 'coldwave nap'(in which one emails Lever 2000 to suggest their 'less than satisfactory show-her' was due to the fact the name of thee very rare soap is slightly 'outdated', and obviously providing a link to Prince's website to back up one's suggestion i'e' '1999' did him in, very rare...)...needless to say, name your penis 'Adrian', and the Franco-Cuban takeover of Buddhist culture will completely 'skirt' thee issue ov Gentrification 4ever, like its 1999!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This week WIERD is honored to welcomes BOTH the beautifully cold diva of Frenchwave Ms Katie Serva  and the lovely 'Paisley Hippie-Goth Princess of English 'Gypsy-wave' ', thee Honorable Ms. Maya to thee WIERD wheels of pleasure!!!

Pieter, Katie and Maya spin the new Franco-L'Androgyne hysteria!!!!!!!!
Tuesday December 13th, 11 pm-4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and free 'land-line' mobile castrations for all androgynously named English children over 35!!!, midnight-1am!!!
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent) Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd